I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Let's get the cat blown out
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
