I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
