her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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