Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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