dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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