You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
