He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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