Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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