It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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