:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
