Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
