he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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