Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
