If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
