I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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