somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
