My friends, they love my intelligence
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
