i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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