He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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