Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
