im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize