would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There's always time for handjobs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
