I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize