these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
