Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
