I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
