Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
