Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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