My cat gives me a boner
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar