She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
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New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off