Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there