i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha