bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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