I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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