He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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