I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
