If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
