You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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