She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?