Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.