The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on