Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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