At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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