my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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