I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
