At least make sure they are 18
Why
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
