True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
