the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
