Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.

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  (810): I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages. http://tfl.nu/0oct
  Replies (4) Good night (1678) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i just had sex bonerless

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  (518): i just had sex bonerless http://tfl.nu/7rsn
  Replies (84) Good night (1755) Bad night (12299)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just found out I have a small penis.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?

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  (617): I just found out I have a small penis. (781): Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/6gqe
  Replies (23) Good night (733) Bad night (5507)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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  (650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/6biy
  Replies (47) Good night (5091) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

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  (304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52
  Replies (26) Good night (5691) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.

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  (607): she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet. http://tfl.nu/uotm
  Replies (36) Good night (1706) Bad night (8645)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up

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  (217): What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up http://tfl.nu/ae7w
  Replies (43) Good night (1168) Bad night (6389)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery

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  (603): its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery http://tfl.nu/k62j
  Replies (4) Good night (2924) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

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  (727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y
  Replies (3) Good night (2740) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  how did i know this would happen?

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  (412): I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN (1-412): how did i know this would happen? http://tfl.nu/2nli
  Replies (8) Good night (2053) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

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  (707): Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god http://tfl.nu/bbiq
  Replies (9) Good night (1662) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

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  (814): The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out. http://tfl.nu/7070
  Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?

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  (609): So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face? http://tfl.nu/y6a3
  Replies (5) Good night (408) Bad night (1317)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.

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  (704): You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player. http://tfl.nu/yxi1
  Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.

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  (716): They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them. http://tfl.nu/wksg
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (300)

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