he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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