If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
