Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
