Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I party with great urgency now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
