found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
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