i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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