I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
