dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
