but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
