somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
