quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
How external is "for external use only"?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
