Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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