I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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