YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
